I frequently get asked if Teaching Self-Government principles still work while you’re on a family vacation. The answer is a wholehearted yes! I’ve used the principles on many trips over the years, once for three weeks straight during two different vacations.
Does TSG Work On Trips? Read More »
I once heard from a mother who was struggling with her three-year-old. The girl didn’t take “No” answers well, even when they practiced. When she earned a consequence she either wouldn’tdothe chore or would holler if it was the removal of a privilege.If the mother gave her a “No” answer to anything, the girl would flop on the floor and scream. If she didn’t get what she wanted from her siblings, she would yell and hit them.She was a sweet girl, but she was also very strong-willed and determined to get her way.
I’m often asked how to parent in public. So many parents are tired of being the only ones trying to get their kids to behave properly and having their kids’ friends look at them like they’re acting like the wicked witch. Parents want their kids to enjoy playing with friends, but that doesn’t mean they have to let their children misbehave or do things that are rude or inappropriate. It really boils down to knowing how to handle different expectations of children’s behavior.
Parenting in Public Read More »
A reader once wrote asking about her children, ages 2, 4, 6 and 8. The children were usually very well-behaved in situations away from home. The mom tried to expose them to different places so they would know how to behave.
Dealing with Negative Social Influences Read More »
I once heard from a mother who was having a hard time getting her 13-year-old son on board with the family vision. The other children eagerly participated in role playing exercises of following instructions and accepting consequences, but the son wouldn’t join. He wouldn’t come for family meetings or participate in activities.
Age 13 – And Defiant Read More »
I’ve previously talked about how teens go through normal detachment from their families. That’s to be expected. It’s the abnormal detachment that parents should watch for. Parents need to know what normal detachment looks like and the warning signs of abnormal detachment that can signal larger problems.
Teen Detachment: What Is Normal? Read More »
Triathlon vs. Parenting: The Comparisons Read More »
I once had a reader say that praising didn’t come naturally for her. In fact, she thought praising seemed fake and annoying. She wrote:
I don’t want to be a cheerleader, always saying “Good job” no matter what—I want to say things that really matter, that I really believe, that are true. I guess what makes it hard is when I know (or think I know) that I’ve taught them how to do something better than they have done it, or that they should be capable of doing some things without always having to be praised for it.
Several years ago, my family had a tradition of occasionally deciding we were on vacation for a week. That meant we took a break from our regular routine. We did it a few times a year to focus on getting all of the yard and garden work done. One day that we spent doing lots of yard work is particularly memorable, not because of what we accomplished in the garden, but because of what happened with my children.
Sometimes They Figure It Out Themselves Read More »
Many years ago I co-directed a youth theater production of Shakespeare’s “The Tempest.” On our last day of performances, we had a matinee and an evening performance. The matinee performance started under lots of stress. We were missing our stage hand, our sound person and two actresses, and everyone was stressed. The only thing we had time to do was say a prayer. We usually took time getting into character and doing energy-building exercises before a performance, but we didn’t have time that day. The play had to go on.
Lights, Camera, Action… with Energy! Read More »
A few years ago, I received a letter from a woman regarding her nine-year-old son, Colin. Her problem was one that many other parents face. Colin regularly spent the entire day procrastinating his chores. On top of it all, he had a bad attitude. He was sent to bed early, which meant he didn’t do his chores and thought he got away with it. The house was messy because Colin didn’t wash the dishes, and the mom was at her wit’s end — how can the family work around a stubborn child who is constantly seeing how far he can push to get out of his responsibilities?
He Won’t Do His Chores? Read More »
I participate in a few discussion groups that have inspiring and thought-provoking conversations. I remember many years ago the topic on one of these groups was how much alone time parents need to be refreshed and ready to meet all the tasks on our daily lists.
A few years ago, a reader wrote, “My kids love being able to disagree appropriately, but I don’t want them to do it every single time! They’re smart and have good reasons for wanting to do things a different way, and sometimes I’m happy to let them change our direction.But I don’t like taking the time to listen to their opinion every time I ask them to do something they don’t want to do.Suggestions?”
Disagreeing Appropriately Read More »
2 – What kind of opportunities do you give for kids to follow through before getting consequences?
Example: It’s each of the children’s responsibility to make their bed, tidy their bedroom and get dressed before breakfast at 7:30.I try to say encouraging things to get the kids to hurry along by letting them know how much time has passed and how much is left before breakfast — even advertising what’s coming for breakfast to motivate them.But when they don’t do it, or don’t do it on time, I suddenly wonder what I should do.Do they miss breakfast?
Morning Routine Motivation Read More »
One morning I woke up with this list of things to do that day on my mind.Ok, I didn’t plan on one of my children throwing up, but the rest was planned.Before I even got my swimsuit on to leave for the pool, I felt this tight feeling in my chest and my head started to ache.I tried taking some deep breaths to calm myself down, but itdidn’t seem to work. I kept going and thought my workout might relax me.
One night, many years ago, I was faced with a decision. Should I write my daily blog, or should I sit in my daughter’s room telling exciting stories to my children? We had friends in town staying with us, and it was a tradition in our home that when friends come to stay, I gather them together and tell them one of my famous choose-your-own-ending type stories. The children were all very excited for storytime. I couldn’t let them down by choosing to write my blog post instead of spending time with the children. Then the thought hit me, “Wait a minute! I’m trying to decide between writing a blog vs. spending time with the children?? How could I even consider letting them down! Why would I ever choose to lose this time with my children just because I didn’t take the time earlier in the day to write my blog?”
Properly Prioritizing Our Time… Because It’s All We Have! Read More »
Some 10 years ago, my four-year-old son was standing on the back porchone afternoon,talkingto his sister.They weretrying to make each other laugh by doing funny things.This is a common game with the two of them.All of the sudden I heard a loud BANG on thewindow located right nextto the porch.I ran to the door and saw my four year old standing there holding a garden shovel, smiling and laughing with his sister.
Respecting Property Read More »
I remember one day talking with a dear friendabout parenting.She told me that for about a monthshe was doing so good with the Teaching Self-Government principles in her home.She said she really saw results whenever she remembered the principles and used them.Then she said that her family went on a trip for a week.On the way home from the trip, she stopped using the Teaching Self-Government principles.She said that for some reason she just went back to her old, inefficient way of running things at home.
Staying Focused on Correct Parenting Principles Read More »
“Mommy, what makes the moon shine?”askedmy six-year-old daughter, Londyn. “The moon reflects the light of the sun,” I responded. After a brief discussion about the moon and the sun, I realized that her question was really profound. Innocence almost always finds truth.I’m grateful for that.The moon reflects the light from the sun. It never turns its back on the sun either.It always faces it.The moon loses light when things get in the way, like the earth.The moon has the power to control the tides on the earth; the very thing that gets in the way.
Years ago I was participating in a sewing activity at my church. Many women had gathered at the church with their sewing machines. At this activity, there was a four-year-old girl that kept touching the knobs on the sewing machines. Her mother tried to keep her in control and punished her by putting her into time-out when she touched the machines. She didn’t stop trying to touch the machines —even though this girl was punished each time .
Thanks to Pre-Teaching, Melanie Sees the Future Read More »