One day my father told me something so profound that it literally changed my social life and my personal empowerment forever. After I finished telling him about how another child at school had been mean to me, he said, “Nicholeen, sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” I’m guessing […]
“Choose Not to Be Harmed” Read More »
“But what if they just keep talking back and are driving me crazy,” a mother asked me while I was instructing a group of parents on how to teach their children to accept “no” answers. The mother of three told the group she knew she needed help becausesometimes she feels so crazy, or out of
Who Drives You Crazy? Read More »
After responding to the woman who teaches Primary at church with my initial, general tips on how to use self-government principles in the classroom she wrote me back the following:
Can I Use TSG with Someone Else’s Child? – Part 2 Read More »
Are we holding our children back?In the past 80-100 years, society has started holding children back with an artificial extension of childhood instead of empowering them forward toward purpose and adulthood. Thomas At age 12, Thomas Edison convinced his parents to allow him to leave home in order to sell newspapers to Grand Trunk Railroad
The Artificial Extension of Childhood Read More »
Back in 2008 I received a letter from a woman that teaches a class every Sunday at church. She was having difficulty managing the behavior of the children in her class (or rather, the children were having difficulty managing their own behavior!). She wrote…
Can I Use TSG with Someone Else’s Child? – Part 1 Read More »
Remember your family meetings! Family meetings are the core of Teaching Self-Government. If you have weekly family meetings, the whole family will stay focused on their family government. See what happens when you miss a few weeks, it’s noticeable. In my home it’s especially noticeable with Dad. He has less patience and focus as a parent when we miss our family meetings.
Family Meeting Tips Read More »
When one of our foster daughters lived with us years ago, she did something that the others hadn’t done. She spent the first few weeks very intently watching me. She watched the way I kept house, the way I parented my children, the time I spent reading scriptures and good books, etc.
Who Wants Realistic? Read More »
Perfection in parenting is nearly impossible to measure. God, the Perfect Parent, sets the perfect example. But we will always fall short because our attitudes, desires and intentions are not always as perfect as His. However, one of the many lessons from our perfect Godly Parent that we can focus on perfecting is our exactness.
Not Perfect, But Definitely Exact Read More »
Many years ago, my four-year-old son awoke me one morning and said, “Mom, I don’t remember what home looks like, but I do remember what you look like.”
“I don’t remember…” Read More »
Children aren’t perfect, and neither are parents. However, parenting isn’t about being perfect. And, there’s no such thing as a perfect child. Of course, perfection isn’t the goal of my parenting anyway. My goal has always been to create joyful adults. Joyful adults are those that know what their mission in life is and they’re
Parenting with Grace Read More »
I’m in need of some help with my nine-year-old son. He is a major dawdler, and always has been. I am a very efficient person and try to get things done as quickly as possible. See the conflict already? It takes gobs of time for him to do simple things like get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, read his books, and other things that are very simple. He’ll start the task, but then literally just start walking around the house in circles, just doing nothing in particular except dawdling.
The 9-Year-Old Dawdler Dilemma Read More »
“I hate that I’ve been mean to my children before,” confessed a father I was speaking to recently. Instead of calmly handling difficult situations, this father had become frustrated a few times and lost his temper with his children. His voice tone and body were humble as he confessed this. He wasn’t making excuses for
Hope: Facing Toward Self-Government Read More »
If I planted a corn kernel in February, would I be disappointed when it didn’t turn into a large plant that same afternoon? Certainly not! Instead, I would get excited about the plant’s development as I waited for it to grow.
Parenting Programs: Is There a Quick Fix? Read More »
Historically, as young people approached the age of 18, they would start to spread their wings and transition into adulthood by stepping outside of their comfort zones. Sadly, times have changed. Today, many teens are feeling increasingly more inadequate to attempt adult tasks. In fact, they often don’t even feel comfortable talking to adults. In
Teen-Culture and the Land of Make Believe Read More »
Freedom in the family is the key to raising children who are freer and more independent. The problem is, most people don’t understand freedom. Many families institute complete license without consequences assuming that’s freedom and that it will lead to independent children. But in reality, it leads to emotional bondage and relationship dysfunction. Personal freedom
Raising Independent Children Read More »
I once received a note from a mother who had an eight-year-old son with obsessive tendencies. He was scared the upstairs of the house would break and drop everyone into the basement, so he constantly checked that the floor was strong enough. And this wasn’t the first time he had fixated on something. The mom was nervous because she had a family history of mental illness. Her husband wasn’t as worried because he believed most mental problems are created by a family’s discipline and relationships. He said that developing perfectionist children who govern themselves caused their son to obsess over things. She asked my advice on how to help her son through his obsessive thoughts and actions.
“Go long Porter!” said Dad to his 15-year-old son as they played Frisbee in the circle in front of our home. Dad and Porter throw Frisbees regularly in the evening. Am I mad that my husband is playing games with his son instead of helping me with the dinner preparation? No way! That play time
The Data About Dads and Child Self-Confidence Read More »
When I first decided to leave my high-paying career to stay home with my toddler son and daughter, I had to remind myself that I was picking the greater good. I was in the funeral industry and was really needed at an important time in people’s lives: the death of a loved one. I felt
From “Just a Mom” to Being Showcased on a BBC Program Read More »
When I started learning self-government principles years ago, I was foster parenting some difficult children, most of whom were on medication and had severe anger issues and terrible eating habits.As I started teaching them self-government skills, many of the children no longer needed their medication. Sometimes the anger issues stopped immediately, but in other children the issues re-surfaced later. With these youth I looked at another aspect of self-government: their diet.
The Potential Nutrition Cure for “Difficult Children” Read More »
Recently, while texting with my oldest son, he asked, “Hey, what do you want for Mother’s Day?” I shouldn’t really admit that I don’t like those kinds of questions, but the truth is I don’t. Maybe it’s because my love language isn’t gifts, or maybe it’s because I never know what to say. The most
What Your Mother Really Wants Read More »