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Children (4-10)

Obedience — Inspiring a Change in Behavior

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Another idea might be having a family meeting, I teach about those too, and discuss a POSITIVE motivational system for the family if everyone follows instructions the first time asked for a few days.  I have a great idea in my book about Rachel’s Bean Magic.  That motivational system my do really well for this because it shows that each good thing has a positive consequence, not just focusing on the bad.

Also, work with your children regularly too.  Teach them the jobs by example.  Sometimes we expect things to be done perfectly when we haven’t really taught them how to do the jobs properly

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Back Talking vs. Appropriate Disagreements & The Rule of Three

7 Comments / All, Children (4-10), Using TSG Skills /

Hey, I have read your book and have been trying to implement the system, however I have a few questions.  My oldest son is 11, he has trouble controlling his emotions and talking back.  Here is an example of a typical situation; I ask him to do something he makes a face and might say a smart remark but he will look me in the eye after I remind him and will say ok sarcastically then he will go do the chore.

He follows the steps the right way about 50% of the time. Today he was out of instructional control and me telling him that if he chose not to follow my instructions that the was going to chose to earn another chore didn’t work.  He just sat there, so I left the room for a few minutes and when I came back he was ready to follow instructions. However he was only ready after I told him that he was going to lose all his privileges. My question is how long should he lose his privileges? He was calm, he just didn’t want to follow my instructions when I asked the first time. 

He also talks back too much or tries to argue.

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Order at Home

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

One of my passions is astronomy.  When I go out in my backyard and look through my telescope at my friends, the planets and stars, I feel so close to God.  Not because heaven is in space, but because it is so obvious there is organization in all things.  He is a God of order; with everything in it’s perfect place.  Everything has a purpose; a mission.  Since He is order in all we see it only makes sense that people should live by order too.  

Just like laws and principles govern the skies and the earth, there are laws meant to govern us as well.  That is why we have chosen to apply governing rules to our home too.  We feel like there is no better example of how to run a home than the way God runs our world; the current home for His family. 

Our family has a set structure.  We have certain meetings each week to strengthen the family relationships and keep the home in order.  The meetings we have are

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“It’s Bedtime”

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Using TSG Skills /

Bedtime negative behaviors. my 5 year old just will not settle down. I get really frustrated with him. I don’t feel like I can do the rule of three or extra chores when he is supposed to be going to sleep, and if I tell him he has earned them for the morning, the consequence doesn’t seem real to him. My husband’s solution is to give him three warnings, and then spank him. I am beginning to hate bedtime.

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Stand For Something

1 Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

     One afternoon my children and I went on a walk to our local library.  The library is about one and a half miles from our home.  After a great time reading and exploring together in the library, we started our mile and a half walk home. 

     During the walk one of my small children mentioned he was hungry.  It was getting close to dinner time, and would still be a little while before we reached home.  When we were about a half way home we passed a home which had a large apple tree growing on the property.  The apples on the tree were perfectly ripe and large.  My son immediately notice

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Parenting On the Go ~Car and Store Struggles

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /
Hi, Nicholeen,
 
I have a quick question for you.  I’m struggling with what to do for discipline/consequences when we’re away from home.  (Specifically in the car or in a store.)   My kids tend to pick at each other, fight, kick, etc., in the car and to run away from me or do other annoying things (push the cart the wrong direction, touch things they shouldn’t, etc.) at the store.   The younger ones especially (age 2-4ish) don’t really care enough about what’s coming in the future for them to care if I give them a consequence that will be carried out

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Consequences

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Using TSG Skills /

My kids are really hard workers (At least I’ve taught them one thing right!) so they are not bothered at all by doing an extra job or even doing jobs for one hour or all day. It’s not their favorite thing to do but they will do it without complaining and then go right back to the same behavior that we were trying to fix. I know it sounds crazy but these are unusual kids I’m raising!

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“Mom is on the phone”

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Relationships, Using TSG Skills /

“I do struggle and maybe you could give me some advice.  I spend quite a bit of time with my kids in the morning going over little activities like school workbooks and story time and exercising together.  Yet the minute I get on the phone or sit down to nurse the baby, the three boys are arguing or fighting or taking toys from each other or something of the sort.  I have tried to get them to color or do a certain activity together, but that only lasts so long.  It’s

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Success Stories and Some Questions

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

Thank you so much for your teaching this subject! I purchased the CDs about two months ago when I heard about them through the LEMI mentors association, listened to them, took lots of notes, and put it into action at a family meeting about 3 weeks ago. It has been so helpful! It has already made a big difference in our home!

My eight year old son was having trouble obeying the first time i.e. following instruction, and we would ask him again and again to do things and he wouldn’t do them. He would forget or get distracted reading. (He’s a white, through and through.) Then we would get angry and he would do it. But he would sometimes get angry and lately even sometimes go into a little bit of a rage.

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Have You Ever Done This?

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Using TSG Skills /

A parent says, “Billy, come make your bed.” 

Billy doesn’t come immediately so the parent says,”One…….Two………Three.” to get Billy to come. 

Have you ever done this?  Everyone knows Billy better start running either at or before his mom hits the number three or else Mom could turn into a monster. 

As I travel around, I notice counting to three as possibly the most common parenting control method.  Counting has it’s place in parenting, but the counting in the above story is either a threat, a power struggle, or a sign of a parent who doesn’t real

Have You Ever Done This? Read More »

Sneaky Six Year Old

1 Comment / All, Children (4-10), Relationships, Using TSG Skills /

      …my 6 year old is up to his old tricks.  He

LOVED following instructions when I first started concentrating on this.

But, today, he became his regular difficult self.  He hasn’t been

following instructions and when I tell him he’s earned a chore, he won’t

do the chore.  And when I try the Rule of 3, he’ll calm down and then

still won’t follow through with his chores. 

      He has tried to solicit help from me (while I’m trying to make dinner for him)–I told him I’d like to

help him, but I have to make dinner right now.  Then, he just starts goofing off with the r

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My neighbors fight with my children…friend problems

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Relationships, Using TSG Skills /

My children love playing with the kids next door, but it seems that the neighbor kids do something rude/unkind every few weeks (or more often).  I’m not naive enough to believe that my kids are always totally without blame, but I am good friends with mother of these kids, and she has told me several times that this is pretty normal behavior for her kids and that my kids don’t act like that.  My kids (8 yo girl, 7 yo boy) have learned to pretty much just expect rude comments and behavior from the 9 yo neighbor boy and don’t have a lot to do with him anymore, but the 8 yo old girl

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Changing generations

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Youth (10-18) /

The Universe is governed by laws. One of those laws is that an older, wiser species comes before the new, innocent young of the same species to guide the younger toward right choices and acceptable behaviors. I have heard parents say before that their children didn’t come with instruction manuals. This is true, and each child is uniquely different, but I have wondered if parents make statements like these to make themselves feel better

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Screaming part 2

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Using TSG Skills /

On September 11th I wrote a post titled “For Crying out Loud ~ Screaming”  This was the first screaming post.  I am now adding another part to screaming, because I have another question. 

My almost-5-year-old has always been a screamer.  He screams this 

high-pitched, shrill, grating scream whenever he doesn’t like 

something that’s going on — which is often.  This screaming pushes 

my buttons like nothing else does.  I HATE it, and I’m afraid I’ve 

reacted to it too strongly and too wrongly, for too long.

So, is this kind of screaming a normal thing for a kid before he ge

Screaming part 2 Read More »

Fighting with non-family members

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Relationships, Youth (10-18) /

“I have been reading your website and listening to your CD’s and practicing what I’ve learned from you.  It has helped tremendously with the level of peace in our home.  A situation occurred last night with my 12 y/o which has me a bit stymied.  He was at a church camp-out and playing flag football with some other boys.  One boy in particular has given him trouble on and off through the two years we have lived here.  This boy will slap my son and then say it was a joke, yell at hi

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Bad Habits

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

“Some of my kids have developed bad habits such as finger-sucking, nose picking (and eating it), fingernail chewing, and touching their genitals.  Do you have any experience or advice on helping children successfully break these kinds of habits?  Some of my children have started doing such things from the time they are babies (finger-sucking), or have developed the habits a little later at around age 3 or so.  And one daughter in particular seems particularly prone to this type of thing (she’s eight now).”

I did have some youth who had behaviors which are not social

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Should I Medicate?

1 Comment / All, Children (4-10), Using TSG Skills /

“Help! I’ve been browing your website for a couple of days. Trying to find some answers- If I had the $ I’d be sending for the cd’s. But it’s not in the budget right now. I’m totally at my wits end with my 6 yr old.

I don’t know what else to do. He is ADHD- We’ve had him in with a counselor, and I have an appointment to talk about meds this afternoon. I don’t want to do meds for adhd, but I have to try something, because everything I’ve tried isn’t working. He’s only 6! I really don’t want to do meds, but I don’t know what else to try.

Should I Medicate? Read More »

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