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Toddlers (0-4)

BJandMEMini

Interiew With Nicholeen Peck: Strict Parenting

1 Comment / All, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

BJ Stober, family therapist and hostess of Family Voice Talk Radio, interviewed Nicholeen Peck on April 19, 2012 about strict parenting. This is a link to the audio/video version of the show.



Nicholeen discussed different ways to parent and how what to focus on in order to break bad parenting habits.



Be sure to listen for the 10 Things Parents Need To Know to teach their children self-government.

Interiew With Nicholeen Peck: Strict Parenting Read More »

happy toddler hat

Accepting No After Disagreeing Appropriately

1 Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“I’ve been using the 4 basic skills with my children, ages 7 and 4. It has been such a help. Thank you, Nicholeen!

But I’m not sure what to do to help my 4 yo understand the concept of
disagree appropriately. It seems too complex for her. She will go
through the script and ask to dis. app. and do it, but she seems
genuinely confused that she doesn’t always get her way when she does
this. I try to let her get her way as much as possible when she

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Video: Two Year Old, Sam, Teaches The Four Basic Skills

4 Comments / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

Read about this amazing video on the next page! [video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEV-1UcyooQ&feature=player_embedded] Last week I asked for you to send me copies of some of the things you have done to implement Self-Government into your homes. The things I recieved were amazing! I can't wait until they are all available to you. In the mean time, take

Video: Two Year Old, Sam, Teaches The Four Basic Skills Read More »

Child Hitting

Practicing The Right Way: Cause And Effect Parenting For Toddlers Who Hit And Others

1 Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills /

Cause and effect is learned more effectively when the consequences, positive and negative, are practiced first. The example below is geared toward a parent with a toddler, but the principles can be applied to all ages and situations which need to be practiced and understood more.

“My two year old daughter likes to hit. She hits me, she hits my husband and she even hit’s the baby. No matter what I do nothing seems to work. Reasoning doesn’t really work with a two year old, so I am at a loss for what to do about this. I know I need to do something.”

Practicing The Right Way: Cause And Effect Parenting For Toddlers Who Hit And Others Read More »

mother reading to child

Parenting Three Year Olds: They Really Understand

Leave a Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

Many people ask me when they should start teaching their children self government skills.  It is never too early to start talking in a deliberate, describing way or to teach the word “okay.”  Even the words “disagree appropriately” can be understood by most youngsters. My little almost 3 year old just asked if she could

Parenting Three Year Olds: They Really Understand Read More »

How Do I Nurse A Baby And Handle The Rest Of The Children Too?

Leave a Comment / All, Toddlers (0-4) /

If you have ever had a baby, you know how hard feeding time can be.

I just had my 3rd baby and my oldest is turning 3 in a week and a half. This means that nursing the baby has become one of the most stressful times for me. I’ve been wondering to myself how I will ever stay sane if I can’t properly deal with the issues of the older 2 every time I nurse.
I love your idea of reading to the older kids while nursing the baby. I’ll try that one next time Zeke needs to eat. :)
Thanks for sharing this great advice.

I remember those years nursing and having toddlers. Those are hard times!!! There just aren’t enough arms and your thoughts get all jumbled up because of the noise and stress of it all. Obviously you should try to keep as calm as you can for the milk to be good and calming for the baby. I also know that is easier said than done.

How Do I Nurse A Baby And Handle The Rest Of The Children Too? Read More »

Brave Parenting: Being Too Soft

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Relationships, Toddlers (0-4) /

Can parents actually be too soft?  Isn’t love and affection always the answer?  If a parent isn’t being soft aren’t they being angry?  I often have parents ask me about children who are really emotional.  They say things like, “…she is really sensitive.”  or “…he has a tender heart.”  I know there are different personalities

Brave Parenting: Being Too Soft Read More »

“Mom is on the phone” ~Discipline Problem

4 Comments / All, Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

 

“I do struggle and maybe you could give me some advice.  I spend quite a bit of time with my kids in the morning going over little activities like school workbooks and story time and exercising together.  Yet the minute I get on the phone or sit down to nurse the baby, the three boys are arguing or fighting or taking toys from each other or something of the sort.  I have tried to get them to color or do a certain activity together, but that only lasts so long.  It’s hard to discipline when you are nursing the baby.
 
        I know I have a bit of post-pardom and always feel like I am always nursing the baby or disciplining my children.  I have felt discouraged with my 3 boys behavior and realize some of their actions comes from mom spending so much time with the new little one.  Do you have any tips or suggestions for me on how to best help teach my boys and solve the problems.”

 

 

J You hit a common discipline problem right on the head.  I would like to meet a mother who can have a 30 minute phone conversation and not have things fall apart a little bit.  My one hopeful thought to you is that as they grow, they learn to live without you for 30 minutes, or more.  😉

Nursing a baby is also a hard one.  I have been there too. 

“Mom is on the phone” ~Discipline Problem Read More »

Unruly Child

2 Comments / All, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“My question, as it relates to the above entries and to my four year old is what to do when he will not stay in time-out (on our washer)? He will not stay there. He runs after me, screaming. I put him back – try hard to do it calmly and sometimes I have tried to keep him there using my hands to keep his legs on the washer, but then I feel like I am forcing him and it all goes down hill from there.”

I wrote an answer to a similar question over a year ago. It is called “Tantrums, Time-out and Tired Moms.” The article should answer most of your questions. It is alright to do a soft hold with a child to help him learn to want to stay on time-out himself to calm down, but you are right about it being a sort of “force.”

Unruly Child Read More »

Parenting Questions: What to do when they think they are the parent

4 Comments / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

Question:

“The biggest struggle we have with my son is that he wants to be the parent – he wants to be in control, not necessarily of my husband and I, but of the rest of the kids (he’s #2 of 5).  For instance, this morning he made himself a “dessert sandwich” (he just made this up, bread with butter and cinnamon on it) before breakfast, but got mad and yelled at our 2 year old for getting into the fridge to get an apple while he still had the sandwich in his hand.  Even me standing there saying “It’s okay, she can have the apple” didn’t calm things right away.  ALL THE TIME he gets after his siblings for things he sees as wrong, but he himself can do no wrong, even if he’s doing the same things they are.”

About Parents

I love how at the beginning of this question you say that your son thinks he’s the parent and then at the end you say that he can do no wrong even though he is doing the same thing.  These two statements together in the same paragraph make me smile because that is just what most parents really do.   They get after the children for doing what they, the parents, are doing all the time too.  These parents for some reason feel like if they don’t have to look at their short comings in their children then the short comings aren’t really there and don’t need to be addressed. 

I will never forget

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Toddlers with Tantrums

4 Comments / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“Where am I going wrong?!?!?!?! I had started to think that things were on the up, but lately it seems as though my daughter’s behaviour has taken a nosedive. I think she’s just asserting herself but I find it hard to stay calm when she does. She ignores me very often or when she does respond to something, it’s usually with a “no” or “I don’t want to!”.

Toddlers with Tantrums Read More »

Obedience — Inspiring a Change in Behavior

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

Another idea might be having a family meeting, I teach about those too, and discuss a POSITIVE motivational system for the family if everyone follows instructions the first time asked for a few days.  I have a great idea in my book about Rachel’s Bean Magic.  That motivational system my do really well for this because it shows that each good thing has a positive consequence, not just focusing on the bad.

Also, work with your children regularly too.  Teach them the jobs by example.  Sometimes we expect things to be done perfectly when we haven’t really taught them how to do the jobs properly

Obedience — Inspiring a Change in Behavior Read More »

Parenting Toddlers and Parenting Teenagers ~Family Government in Action

1 Comment / All, Relationships, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Youth (10-18) /

Parenting Toddlers ~ Small Successes

Nicholeen,

I’ve been working with my son Jack for the last six months to appropriately accept correction. He’s 21 months old. He’ll do something inappropriate, I’ll tell him the right thing to do and then say, “You say, ‘OK, mom.'” I’ve been wondering, over the course of the months, if my efforts were in vain. Was he too young? Would he ever get it?

Parenting Toddlers and Parenting Teenagers ~Family Government in Action Read More »

time out

Tips For Using Time-out With Toddlers

9 Comments / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

“My 2yo has started crying a LOT the past few days. Over every little thing. Nothing is different physically or environmentally that I can tell. He already has his 2yo molars, too.. He’s just been crying about everything that he doesn’t like, with some pretty good tantrums thrown in the mix of the average crying. I tried holding him in timeout (he’s never stayed in time out on his own so far), but he screamed and threw a serious tantrum the whole time.. which wouldn’t be a problem for me except that I have to take care of the other kids, too! I tried holding him in our time-out spot until he was done with the tantrum so I could praise him for being happy, etc., but after 40 minutes of continuous screaming, my baby was also crying, needing to be fed, and the other young kids had destroyed the basement. At that point I just took him to his bed to finish his crying fit. So I’m thinking the holding in time out option might not work for us. Yesterday and today I’ve started just taking him to his room when he starts having a breaking down crying fit. What would you suggest? Do you think I should just take him to his room every time he cries? Or should I try

Tips For Using Time-out With Toddlers Read More »

Runaway Two Year Old

5 Comments / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

Q: “With my 2 and half yr old. She frequently will run away from me when I call her, wanting to turn it into a game of chase. Sometimes this is at a store or getting into the car, sometimes it is when she needs a diaper change etc.  I have tried to do roll playing games with her to help praise her for coming or following instructions. She loves this game, but won’t always do it in real life. I am not sure the best way to help her want to obey or what should be the consequence for failing to follow an instruction at age 2. I feel like I am doing too much reasoning with her, which I feel is really not the most effective thing with a 2 year old, but I am not sure what else to do so she starts to understand the consequences of her actions. I have lately been feeling very frustrated and out of control with her. I hate feeling that way and I could really use some ideas.”

A: 

Pre-teaching her to come when called before it is ever time is a great thing to do to prepare her to repeat the behavior at the right time.  Great Job!  Keep doing that. 

 

As well as pre-teaching, is sounds like you need to establish a consequence system just for her.  You can

Runaway Two Year Old Read More »

Order at Home

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Home Culture, Toddlers (0-4), TSG Principles, Using TSG Skills, Youth (10-18) /

One of my passions is astronomy.  When I go out in my backyard and look through my telescope at my friends, the planets and stars, I feel so close to God.  Not because heaven is in space, but because it is so obvious there is organization in all things.  He is a God of order; with everything in it’s perfect place.  Everything has a purpose; a mission.  Since He is order in all we see it only makes sense that people should live by order too.  

Just like laws and principles govern the skies and the earth, there are laws meant to govern us as well.  That is why we have chosen to apply governing rules to our home too.  We feel like there is no better example of how to run a home than the way God runs our world; the current home for His family. 

Our family has a set structure.  We have certain meetings each week to strengthen the family relationships and keep the home in order.  The meetings we have are

Order at Home Read More »

Parenting On the Go ~Car and Store Struggles

Leave a Comment / All, Children (4-10), Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /
Hi, Nicholeen,
 
I have a quick question for you.  I’m struggling with what to do for discipline/consequences when we’re away from home.  (Specifically in the car or in a store.)   My kids tend to pick at each other, fight, kick, etc., in the car and to run away from me or do other annoying things (push the cart the wrong direction, touch things they shouldn’t, etc.) at the store.   The younger ones especially (age 2-4ish) don’t really care enough about what’s coming in the future for them to care if I give them a consequence that will be carried out

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Tantrums, Time-Out and Tired Moms

2 Comments / All, Toddlers (0-4), Using TSG Skills /

Hi, I am a tired mom who is really trying very hard to have all the time and the spirit in our home. I have 2 kids. My lovely daughter, is freshly 4 years old and my sweet son, is 20 months old. Ours days are packed with action. In our family meeting we discuss consequences for most of the situations… but my daughter always suggests and votes for the time-out. Well I agree that time-out is appropriate for the little one .

Tantrums, Time-Out and Tired Moms Read More »

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